Time for a catch-up...Grab a coffee, this could take a while!

I have to admit, I have been putting off drafting my first blog for a while now. I think it is because that means that this is all really happening. I am doing this. This Friday! ...But it is happening, so let me catch you up on the last six weeks.

About six weeks ago, I attended the engagement party of a really close family friend. I knew this party would have belly dancing at some point and I knew everyone would expect me to get up and dance in the middle of the circle of people clapping. I am sure this sounds strange to most people but this is very common at Middle Eastern events. Typically, I wouldn't take too much convincing to jump in the middle and dance the night away, but I hadn't felt comfortable dancing for a long time. Belly dancing means lots of shaking of the booty, lots of hip flicks, lots of subtle sexy eyes. The problem with shaking what your mama gave you and making sexy eyes is that you have to feel a little bit sexy - spoiler alert - I hadn't even felt pretty in a long time! Sexy was going to be an impossible stretch.

As I dressed for the party, I was dreading the moment the music was turned on. I put on my makeup in a hurry as I was running a bit late and made a dash for the car. When I arrived, my nieces were pretty clingy as they were awake past their bedtime. I ended up walking around with my beautiful four year old niece in my arms for a considerable part of the night. When the music was turned on I was still holding my niece and I was thankful that I had an excuse not to dance. She wouldn't let me put her down. I was secretly overjoyed. I had what felt like a valid excuse not to get dragged into the circle. One song later a new track started and before I could even register what was happening my niece was plucked out of my arms and I was being pulled into the centre. Everyone cheered expecting me to dance like I usually would. I was horrified. Firstly because I didn't want people to notice how much bigger I was and how unfit I had became (dancing now got me out of breath within 10 seconds). Secondly, because I never thought I would be so scared to dance in front of these people. Most of all, I was so sad that I knew that I just couldn't do what I used to do anymore. I clapped and moved my hands around for less than thirty seconds and then quickly side stepped out of the circle. I made sure I stayed away from the dancing after that.

I drove home so disappointed at what had happened and went to sleep trying to ignore my thoughts. The next morning the mother of the groom came to visit and say goodbye before she flew out of the country. As we said goodbye she took me aside and asked what had been happening in my life as she noticed I had gained more weight than when we had last seen each other months ago. I was not upset with her for talking to me about this. Perhaps I would have been if it were someone else, but she was very sweet and concerned, As per the usual comment I get from people who try to complement me, I was reminded that I have "such a beautiful face". Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. I have always felt that it is a complement that is given to larger girls. You don't really hear people consistently tell skinny girls that they have a pretty face. They are told that they are beautiful or that they look amazing.  I will take the complement regardless. Anyway, that night I decided I had to try to get healthy again. I thought about starting weight watchers again (third time a charm?), Michelle Bridges (the biggest loser coach), or perhaps lite and easy this time? I started googling options and came across gastric sleeve surgery.

This wasn't the first time I had researched or looked at bariatric surgery. The procedure is regularly documented on primetime reporting programs. Most recently I had seen it documented after Joe Hockey (Australian Treasurer) had a gastric sleeve and lost a significant amount of weight. It worked for him and I had heard how it worked for lots of people. But when asked about it, I had always said no to surgery. I don't know why I was so set against it to be honest. I think it just seemed radical. That night, I stayed awake until the early hours of the morning researching. Instead of searching for alternative weightloss programs, I was researching gastric sleeve and banding surgeries. I searched for everything I could find about the procedure, from any place I could find information. I looked through pdf's linked to surgical clinics and associations, I read international and domestic forums on the topic, I watched youtube videos and read multiple blogs. One of the blogs that really resonated with me was "Less Dangerous Curves" by an Australian girl called Heidi (http://www.lessdangerouscurves.com/). That night, after reading the majority of her blog, I was confident that banding and bypass surgery were not suitable procedures for me. I had decided I was going to have gastric sleeve surgery and I wanted to do this now!

That next morning I asked my dad to log onto Heidi's blog and read it. This was something I had decided to do. My dad logged on immediately and smiled at me. He was proud of me. I am not sure that I understand the concept of being proud of me for doing this surgery, but it is a comment that many people have made. I later used Heidi's blog to help break the news to all my family and close friends. The response was generally very positive. No one was abnormally shocked by the news which was understandable as I have not hidden the fact that I have been unhappy with my size. Let me clarify that I have always been like this. I think about things sporadically for a while, but when I am close to making me mind up, I do it quickly and then want to do the said thing immediately.

Within the week I had an appointment with the family GP and asked for a referral to anyone of the four surgeons I had researched in Perth. Within two weeks, I had an appointment with Dr Jon Armstrong, and by the end of that appointment I had my surgical date booked (18th July 2014). Within the next two weeks I was sent for blood tests, an ultrasound, an appointment with the clinics psychologist and their dietician. During this time I also started the pre-op Optifast diet.

The pre-op diet is a two week diet that everyone has to do before the surgery. It is not so much about how much you can lose in the two weeks before your surgery, and more about cleaning out your liver and making sure you are as healthy as possible beforehand. To celebrate the start of this amazing journey my parents spoiled me in my last week of a "normal" diet. We went out to some restaurants I had never had a chance to get to before making this decision. I have extremely supportive family and friends, so I am very lucky. I hope everyone is blessed with a supportive network as good as mine has been.

Fast forward! I have now been on the Optifast pre-op diet for eleven days and have lost five kilograms. I have three more days of Optifast shakes (three times a day), and up to five cups of vegetables. So far so good! If you are about to start this diet, don't be scared. People say that it is terrible but I am sure that the majority of you fellow yo-yo dieters would have been on diets twice as bad at least once in your life. Seeing the numbers on the scale go down has been great encouragement and I know I am counting down to a whole new life.

According to Dr John my new life should be with at least eighty precent less excess baggage. That suits me fine! I hope I can lose it all like so many other people do, but I would be happy with losing and maintaining eighty precent of my excess weight. My goal weight is sixty-seven kilograms so that means I have to lose nearly fifty-three kilograms (minus the five kilograms I have lost on Optifast). This is HUGE!

Anyway, I think you are pretty much caught up with my life over the last six weeks. Hope your coffee didn't go cold while reading :)