30kg Down & I am Over the Moon....So Why Do I Still Feel Like a Fatty?

 Today, I am a woman of two minds...or maybe nine minds, I am not even sure anymore. I have so much to tell you in this post, so please do excuse me if I jump around or skim over a few things. I realise that you have better things to do than sitting on your phone, tablet, laptop or PC reading my many thoughts and experiences. Though saying that,  I totally see why you would love reading me blog ;)

 

Ok! So as you know I ran away from Perth and flew over to Melbourne last week. I had just under a week on the other side of Australia, visiting my friends, going to the Melbourne Cup, going to wine tasting festival in Geelong, shopping and drinking cocktails. It was a perfect week away and it started that way as I sat in my aeroplane seat prior to departure. Guess who fits in the chair with room to spare? Yep! I do! No longer do I have to place my jumper over my seatbelt so no one sees how tight the belt is around my belly. Now I have lots of extra room in seatbelt and the tray table does not rest on my thighs when I put it down to hold my cup. This may sound stupid, but can you imagine how excited you would feel if the airlines suddenly increased the size of seats on their flights? This is kind of how I felt, but alas no, it was all me!!!

 

While shopping in Melbourne I bought a little bit more than I was supposed to but in my defence it was mostly on sale (5 pairs of shoes, 3 dresses, 1 skirt, 2 handbags, fascinator, 2 flower headpieces, necklace, seaweed natural snacks, nori, salad oils, dukkahs, body cream and bath salts). The most exciting thing was that I was trying on size 14 dresses! Me! Yes! Size 14! Hilariously, my friend overheard me singing "I love you size 14, I love you size 14 so much, I love you", while I was twirling around in the change room area. It has been a very long time since I have work size 14 anything...this is the lightest I have been in almost ten years!

 

During my holiday, it did become more apparent that I may need to bring forward my six month blood tests and medical check-up with Dr Armstrong. I am not concerned about this as I am now 16 weeks post op, so I feel like the only significant change between now and in another two months will be on the scales. The main issues I am dealing with at the moment is that I have huge bruises all over my legs, but I can't recall ever hitting any furniture etc to cause them. Since speaking to a few pharmacists and checking online, I can see that this is likely a result of my iron levels being low. Luckily I  can supplement iron via a liquid that needs to taken multiple times a day, for a few weeks. I shall keep you posted on the progress of my legs! Of slightly more concern is that I fainted for the second time at Melbourne cup (first time was at an event about a month ago). Now before you start thinking that I drank too much alcohol and was intoxicated, this happened at the start of the day and I had not been drinking! All of a sudden, I feel woozy, my face goes white, my vision starts to blur significantly and I hear loud ringing in my ears. It is pretty terrible and I know I was lucky to have my friends with me when this happened. This episode lasts for about 20 minutes and then I slowly recover over the next 10 minutes. Again, research indicates that I am becoming hypogylsemic, which is very common after VSG surgery. As I have reduced the amount of food and sugar which I consume, my blood sugar level is dropping significantly at random times causing me to get faint. Unfortunately, there is nothing which I can consume to prevent this from happening, so I am going to have to ensure that I never miss a meal/snack and that I carry sugar cubes in my purse in case of emergencies. Let's see how I go with that ;)

 

So I have posted some pictures of my trip below for your amusement... before I start whinging.

 

 About To Go To Melbourne Cup! 

 

The Girls and I :)

 

Lauren and I Sipping Cocktails at Siglo Bar

 

Do I Really Need to Explain? ...Shopping!



Maryanne, Lauren and I at Toast to Coast Wine Festival

 

Yes! I Had a Kid's Serve of Ice-cream... Don't Judge Me ;)

 

Fast forward! I am back in Perth and have been catching up with more friends who haven't seen me in a while. It is actually the funniest thing to see people do a "double take" when they see me. I have been told that the photos I post on this blog don't really give a great indication of what I am looking like, but I suspect that is because I am in my gym clothes for the blog updates - Who knows! This also happened in Melbourne when my friend couldn't find where I was sitting while I waited to meet her. Although I had seen her the night before, she obviously was looking for a girl who was considerably bigger than I was. People not being able to recognise me...certainly a nice problem to have!

 

So as of today, I only have another 23.2kg to lose before I reach my goal weight of 67kg! Strangely, my desired goal is slowly dropping down....so I wouldn't mind losing another 26.2kg to get me down to 64kg. Don't you think 64kg has a nice ring to it? Let's be honest, I will be happy with another 10kg drop....but bring on 64kg!!! ;) The annoying thing is that for some reason people think it is totally acceptable to ask personal questions which would not be appropriate even at the best of times. Why is it considered ok to continually ask me "how my skin is going", "if my skin is sagging", or "if I think I will need to have surgery to remove excess skin".....seriously? Why do people think it is fine to ask me "what my heaviest weight and skinniest weight has been as an adult"...what the? Let's be clear, these people are not even my close friends, they are random colleagues at work or from other social groups which I am part of. These people don't even know that I have had a VSG, they have simply noticed that I have lost a significant amount of weight recently. Grrrrrr! These questions just constantly remind me that I am always going to be a "fatty" of some type. Even if I lose all my weight I am always going to have to deal with any saggy skin and the emotional damage which has been done from being overweight/obese all my life.  As much as my confidence has grown in this process, I realise my confidence is still pretty low. Not quite sure how I will figure this out, but if anyone has any good tips or advice.....let me know!

 

Anyway, lots more to whinge about but I think I need to calm down a bit before I keep writing.

 

Time for bed...goodnight everyone xx